The fans were going wild; gray-haired, somewhat inebriated, old ladies were cheering; grown, gay men were crying, and tasty, young, college co-eds were nervously vying for Kapalua’s attention as he strode briskly down 18 at Bay Hill tied for the Championship with fellow, long-time, journeyman, BroNeck. The enormous crowd that had at one time jostled each other all morning to get in position to witness another trademark late charge by The Neck somehow knew he would fall short of his goal (which he did). They left that sinking ship and joined the drama on 18. As it was, Bolter, two-time, European WDI Winner, Stein, and last year’s WDI Winner, Fish or cut-bait (and possibly the only WDI member besides The Neck to go from first to worst), all had fallen apart like cheap suits at The Men’s Wearhouse and were walking around Bay Hill aimlessly babbling to themselves and taking one too many snapshots.

Before I finish the story, let me digress a tad from this wonderful drama and inquire to what the injured, yet dangerous Duke, and the always gritty Snoot Doggy Dog were up to. It appears that their carousing around the night before this final round had sapped them of their ability to orchestrate a final charge themselves.

With the M.A.S.H. unit lurking behind anxiously waiting for their 911 call, The Duke’s back finally gave out leaving many pre-teen girls gasping. The Snooter meanwhile had left the course at 15 to fly to New York for a surprise board meeting.

So back to the story. Standing on 18, it was going to come down to their tee shots. The usually reliable BroNeck, who had shot a WDI record 73 the day before to move into the lead, did the impossible and hit his first errant tee shot of the tournament. Kapalua, meanwhile, had also set a record for the number of houses and innocent bystanders struck due to his wide arching tee shots. But this time, Kapalua stepped up to the plate and struck his tee shot straight and true down the middle.

In conclusion, they both bogied 18 and tied for the Championship. End of story.

P.S. to BroNeck, you left without paying one half of the winner’s amount. You owe me. If I don’t receive it, I’m coming after you.